OVERRATED: The Oscars

Academy Award for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the Walt Disney Family Museum. Photo by Loren Javier.

As Oscars season comes closer, and everyone spends their time guessing who will win, it’s worth reminding ourselves how utterly overrated the Academy Awards really are. True, they have helped a few careers, but have they made anyone a star recently? The closest one I can think of in living memory was Marion Cotillard, who probably would have been nabbed by Hollywood anyway because she was a) gorgeous, b) talented, c) gorgeous, d) already an established star in France, and e) gorgeous. Most other Oscar-winning actors I can recall were either stars already, or the Oscar didn’t really help (F Murray Abraham, Marlee Maitlin… No, I’ve never heard of them either). OK, the Oscar might have helped Adrian Brody, but he’s not as big as you’d expect. Look, instead of going through how pointless it all is, let me just list a few people who did not win Oscars…

1. Alfred Hitchcock (the Irving Thalberg Award was a nice gesture, but as it doesn’t look like an Oscar, it doesn’t count)

2. Alfred Hitchcock (this is just such an appalling snub that it deserves to be mentioned twice)

2b. Greta Garbo

3. Marilyn Monroe (OK, many – including me – would argue that she didn’t really deserve one… but she proves that you can be known as one of the greatest-ever film stars without even being nominated)

4. Cary Grant (see Marilyn Monroe… except he was at least nominated)

5. Martin Scorsese before 2000 (his Oscar for The Departed wasn’t “overdue”; it was completely the wrong film!)

6. Lillian Gish (who was still giving awesome performances in the early years of the Oscars)

7. Barbara Stanwyck

8. Richard Burton (a zillion nominations, no wins)

9. James Dean (those who accused Heath Ledger of only winning because he had died so young, please explain this)

10. Jacqueline McKenzie (well, not yet, at least – and dammit, that’s a tragedy!)